What is the silliest thing you ever heard a kid say?

We had an all-Area placekicker a few years ago (currently playing D-III ball in Iowa) who was a state FFA sheep-showing champion (or whatever the heck the right word is for that kind of thing). This kid also had a 38-year old "girlfriend" and double-dated with his best friend (who dated the 38-year old girlfriend's daughter!) Around here, the saying is that family trees don't have many branches, if you get my drift (and I think you do!)

The county fair is darn near a religion around these parts. We start practice the week after the local fair is over, but many kids continue to show their animals at other county fairs, so we have always excused those kids from practice.

Tog,

Its 2:45 on Saturday afternoon and I'm still laughing about yellow #5!!!!!! It is even funnier that a girls said it!!!!

Tog, quit being such a pest!!!! hahaha

This may not be as good as "pooflinger" but it is close. This year we are gettign ready to leave for an away game. I am the last one out and in runs this senior who goes to his locker. He turns to me and says "Coach let me apologize in advance if the police pull the bus over on our way out of town". I looked and him and asked what happened, semi joking I asked him he robbed the convenience store. He said no, he did not have a ride to town so he took the neighbors car. Sure enough the neighbor and the town cop showed up just before we left the parking lot. Lucky for him the neighbor did not want to press charges. In a nutshell the kid has issues.

Here is the dumbest thing a kid has ever done around me. Every year at the end of the last regular season practice we let all the seniors do a TD dance or other celebration. I warned the kids not to do anything in bad taste. So we get all the way through 10 seniors, good dances and celebrations. Now here comes Rick. Rick scores his "TD" and runs toward the goalpost ripping down his shorts, compression shorts, and jock...yes he was naked from the waste down and did the nasty on the goalpost pad. I did not know whether to laugh or be crazy mad...I was in complete shock. When I recovered he did more running than I think is humanly possible. We closed the highlight film that year with all the dances, saving his for last...and we faded to black just before he dropped his pants.

We have some strange kids in my neck of the woods.

Can anyone top that? Please I want to hear it. BTW Yellow #5 is classic.

I have a team full of cry babies and the other coaches and myself were always joking about the fact that they weren't injured but just had a bad case of "vaginitis". So we purchased a few tubes of Vagisil, put it into a sports cream tub and told the kids that it was "deep penetrating sports cream from the Las Vegas Gladiators of the AFL", where our head coach played last season. Less than 2 minutes after applying the "deep penetrating cream" the kids were all miraculously "HEELED and fealing better already coach". By the way the "cream now goes with us everywhere!!!!!

Ain't the power of the mind wonderful.

Had a kid come in to the locker room before a home game with a dead squirrel on his shoulder. He said he shot it with a pellet gun after school.

two stories....

One season, I had this raw athlete and was trying to teach him MLB. Great kid and he really wanted to do well, but he would get so frustrated trying to make the right calls... So we'd struggle with getting him just to make strength calls ...one week, we're game planning against a SPREAD offense (typically NO back)....so we're in a practice scrimmage and he's looking back and forth and stares at the QB (head coach) and YELLS, "WISHBONE!!"......needless to say, practice stopped right there.....we were all on our backs laughing.

Last season, one of our better offensive linemen at the Sophomore level quit football in mid October, stating he "Didn't want to play football in the cold!"

I was running a youth camp for elementary school kids one year and during stretching a 4th grade boy says "Oh coach I feel the burn". Then another kid said "yeah I know what ya mean."

I've had a kid say, with all seriousness, that he had to miss practice to get to work. I respectfully (cuz maybe he HAS to to help the family, which I understand) asked him why he needed to work so much, and he said to pay for his car/insurance. So I said "well, why do you need a car so badly?" and his response was...........drumroll please.......... so he could get to WORK!!!!!!!!!!!
huh?
It makes me mad that so many kids don't participate in sports so they can make $. They're gonna be doing that for the rest of their lives. They don't really make any $ anyway, and they can learn the value of work in sports!

this deserved mentioning...

During an away (far away) game (1 hour drive), our QB coach (who arrived to the game late in the 1st quarter) said he, "had to leave a little early (in the 3rd quarter) because he had a TEST in the morning for school (Chiropractor)"...............


He's an ex-QB coach... but it was still pretty funny

Last year we had an epidemic of one saying that all the kids said after they made a mistake. I hated it and they knew it. Still its the silliest saying Ive ever heard. I perfer @#$% over "MY BAD". Did anyone else have this saying......Email me mugzy48hawk@yahoo.

Not really a silly kid saying, but a silly thing that happened.

Our hc bet the kids if we won a certain game that he would walk around school the whole next monday with his front teeth out (dentures)

We won. And he had a lisp all day.

We had a very religious kid say he could not play in a Saturday night game b/c that was when his family went to Mass. I talked to his mother at the team dinner that week and told her the situation...she told him to play and they would go to Mass as a family on Sunday morning. He replied "THEY HAVE MASS ON SUNDAYS?"