Parent and player contracts questions

I understand where you're coming from Coach. It's hard sometimes to know how to reach some kids. I think Coach Bruce is right, deep down inside they crave someone to tell them what to do and how to do it because they find it lacking in other areas of their lives. You have a special opportunity to show them how to make the transition from boys to men. Establishing that connection in the way you described is an essential part of the process and kudos to you for doing that!

One of the things you will run into is a representation on their part of indifference, or maybe even behavior edging on rebellious; it sounds like that is some of what you saw last year. Normal stuff for a kid of that age, accentuated even more if they haven't been getting positive direction at home. There is nothing we can do about that, nor is it our responsibility, but we can offer to them an example of how to be so that they can begin to figure out what they want to be. When you see that behavior find a way to reach that kid, that's when he needs your help the most. I wish I could tell you how to do that, but it's different for every kid. Some kids respond to your getting on their butt, but if it's screaming and hollering in my experience that's not an effective teaching method, especially with kids that don't want to lose face (as Coach Bruce mentioned). Most kids respond to you giving them more responsibility and demanding accountability to each other and as you mentioned when you establish some rapport with them.

If you can simply teach them the values of the game, things like it's not about me it's about team, self sacrifice is a necessary component of achievement, play in a manner that will allow you to look your teammates in the eye after a game and tell them with 100% confidence that you did everything you could do, if you can teach them that, you will have made a difference in their lives that goes way beyond stats or scores on a scoreboard. That is the real meaning of football - the X's and O's are fun, having happy fans after the game is cool, the challenge of leading a team is rewarding but in the end it's about passing along the values that provide a male the foundation for success in whatever they do in life. You won't reach them all, but you will reach more than you will ever know.

I wish you success with being that influence for them Coach, you are definitely on the right track.