What do I do as a parent?

I'm going to try to say this while attempting not to sound like an jerk. Is your son's high school football playing really something to base your entire lifestyle after? Is it really something to uproot family and move to a different state? Change jobs? Buy a new house? If your son really and truly plays and trains as hard as you say, he will be a player who will make it impossible to ignore. I was in a similar situation when I was entering high school (about the same size as well, though I stopped growing taller and am still 5'9"). My high school coach liked guys who had been in the program from 7th grade on. I played Pop Warner until I was a sophomore and was going to play JV because I hated the idea of modified football and at my high school the freshman team was still modified rules. Work ethic, coachability, and a the little bit of ability I had made it impossible for the coach to ignore me and I was a captain to start my senior year and won team MVP as well. It's not an impossible situation.

Also, you say you've coached him. So, you've been in the shoes of a coach. There have probably been parents at one time or another who have not liked your decisions on playing time, the way their son was being used, etc. However, they were speaking from the viewpoint of a parent. As your son enters the high school program, you must try to stay objective and think like a coach, not a parent. You will not be at practices, meetings, etc. You won't see everything he will. If your son is not playing the amount, position, etc. that you think he should, first approach your son and see what he's thinking. If he's unhappy direct him to approach the coach in a respectful manner and ask what he needs to improve upon in order to get on the field more. It is always more well recieved by a coach if the player comes forth first. Then, if your son says he is doing everything he can, approach the coach and ask the same type of question. There is nothing a coach hates to hear more than, "Why isn't my son playing more?" or some variation of that question. "What can my son do to earn more playing time?" is always the best way to go.

I know I started to get ahead of myself toward the end there. But, the main point at the top is what I feel is the meat of what you were asking. What kind of message are you sending your son if you move in an attempt to improve his high school football playing? The whole world revolves around him. If you look at a lot of athletes in the public eye, too many of them have gotten that message and act in that manner. I know I'm taking a risk at saying that. I don't want others to tell me how to raise my child (maybe children in the future) and this is getting close to that. I'm sorry if I overstepped. It's just my opinion. I could be way off base.

Well, I'm in MN and have seen some of the football here. I don't know exactly where you are, GApride, but I can probably narrow it down to a few schools. I'm here to say that not all of the football around here revolves around the biggest boosters, etc. Frankly, if the coach and administrators are using booster funding to determine playing time, they're fools to begin with. However, that being said, make sure you are able to step back and take a look at things calmly. Emotion is obviously high in this instance--don't let it cloud your judgement. While I love football, and I have chosen to allow it to be a big part of my life, I will be damned if I will allow it to control my little boy's future until he chooses to pursue it. As far as I can say, love and support your kid, teach him what's right and wrong, and make your decisions from there. I know there are some strong programs around here with some good traditions, but is it a possiblilty to get into another school's zone? If you don't think you want to fight that situation in your hometown, find somewhere where the coach is doing things right. If he's a player, and has the ability to do things at the next level, those coaches want talented players who can achieve in the classroom--they don't care about how much money daddy gave to the high school booster club! Weigh your options, use your head, and teach your kid what is right in all instances! You do that and I'm guessing you'll be ok.

GAPride...

Honestly, I wouldn't have thought of Coon Rapids as one of the handful. I'm somewhat surprised to hear about that there--although I guess I shouldn't be surprised anywhere in these days. I hope everything works out. Sounds like you have a good kid there, and whatever happens, I'm sure he'll land on his feet. Good Luck!

TIGER ONE,

It's very sad, I've heard about this and didn't give it to much thought until it happen in my household now I don't know what to do? A friend of mine whose son was about 6' 4' 270 dl at Champlin Park high, here in MN. wasn't getting any playing time hardly at all. So, he went and asked the coach what was the problem or what did he need to do to get more playing time. This coach came out and told this man his son's playing time is determine by how much he (the parent) put's into the program. Wow!

frmrgriffinsafety,


I dont think you are way off base!

GeorgiaPride,

It is ashame that you need to deal with situations like this. I can only speak for programs in the area where I coach in the Lehigh Valley in PA. This area is located about an hour north of Philadelphia. The competition for playing time at each school has become increasingly difficult. However, I ould like to think that my colleagues and myself only play the individuals who put forth the effort during the week. I believe my staff has. There are probably parents that do not see it the same way, but like other coaches have already mentioned, they also do not see what goes on at practice during the week. If you do seriously consider a move, feel free to e-mail me, matthew.evancho@svpanthers.org, and I can share more about this area. If your one son is as good at wrestling as you say, then this area would not disappoint you. Within a 10 square mile area, there are usually 3 - 4 teams ranked in the national top 25 rankings. Good luck to you and your family.

I would also like to reaffirm what the other coaches also said, if your child works as hard as you say in practice everyday, he would be impossible to miss and not play.