Dealing With Parents

Coaches,

All comments considered, for the most part feel as though they are good ones with one exception. I would have to disagree with those who hope to become HC's one day and have no plans for talking to parents on the issue of playing time for their sons. The X and 0 situation, I agree with. I had the privilege of being a coach at a HS who has put so many players of all sports into the big time, it is really amazing. Kids in the league (NFL) today who are big time players. Bryan Dawkins, Rod Gardner, Lito Shepherd, Jabbar Gaffney, are just a few modern day players who went there and played when I was coaching. But guys like double zero Kenny Burroughs of the Houston Oilers, Truck Robinson of Basketball fame, Greg Coleman Punter with the Vikings, his brother Vince Coleman of Baseball glory with the Cardinals with blazing speed and great base stealing abilities, are just a few who come to mind. Oh yes, Harold Carmichael, Qb of the Eagles of the NFL was another who went there. But, such talent brings out parents with many questions about their kids future and playing time is right up there at the top of the list! I dealt with it in my way, which was to to have a frank and intellligent question and answer session with the parents. I simply told them that no matter how good he was, unless he was absolutely better than the 2-3 ahead of him, including the starter, his playing time would be dictated by how quickly and how well, he picked up our system and could be a solid contributor to a winning effort. If they wanted to accept that, we shook hands all around and that was it. If they didn't want to accept it, we shook hands on most occasions, and I just told them I was sorry but that was the way it was going to be. With the exception of 1-2 along the way, it was not a problem at all. But, you must understand one thing about coaching HS level ball; How you are perceived by parents has a great deal to do with your success or your failure at that level of play. If they perceive you to be a good man, with the kids interest truly at heart, I really don't believe you will have too many problems that you can't overcome. However, if they perceive you to be anything else, right or wrong, it can be very difficult for you. I think older coaches here on the board would agree with me, like Coach Campbell and Coach Bill Lovejoy, who have been down the road a bit further. They may not, but I feel as though they will. Coach Campbell makes a very valid point about it being a win-win for both parties. All for one, in any case of varying opinions, very rarely leads to a successful conclusion while on the other hand, a conclusion reached that gives both sides a positive result is most always acceptable to everyone involved. I always tried my best to make them understand that with hard work and talent, their day would come for them to see their son excell on Friday nights. 99% will most often times react favorably to that approach. Some folks will just be a thorn in your side no matter you do. My best results were always obtained in dealing with those who were that type by just flat ignoring the bad things about them and killing them with kindness. If I saw them on the street I always spoke first, at school functions I always went out of my way not to overlook them, etc. It worked for me. Being a Minister, as well as, a football coach I'm aware of the scripture that tells us "a soft answer turneth away wrath". The next time you want to tell some parent to take a bite of your ........ think about that scripture. You'll be surprised by the results sometimes, I think.

JC